Things That Sound Dirty . . .

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT HALLOWEEN BUT AREN'T

Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head. 

She's a goblin! 

If you just lick it, it'll last longer.

So....What did you get in the sack? 

I'd like to get a little something in the sack.

She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning. 
Just hop on that broomstick and ride!!! 
Those small suckers are gone in a few licks. 
I got the best piece from that house. 

Show me your JuJuBees and I'll let you see my Zagnuts. 
Quit screwing around on the porch. 
Stick your head in and guess what you are feeling. 

Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth. 
It was so filled and heavy, I had to use two hands. 
They will suck you dry if they get their teeth in you. 

You scared me stiff!

He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor! 
I bobbed but could not get my mouth around it. 

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THANKSGIVING BUT AREN'T

Whew, that's one terrific spread.

I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

Talk about a huge breast.

It's cool whip time!

If I don't undo my pants I'll burst!

Are you ready for seconds yet?

Are you going to come again next time?

It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

Just wait your turn, You'll get some.

Don't play with your meat.

Just spread the legs open and stuff it in!

Do you think you'll be able to handle all of these people at once?

I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

You still have a little bit on your chin.

Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it.

How long will it take after you stick it in?

You'll know its ready when it pops up.

Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

How many are coming?

That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

Just lay back and take it easy, I'll do the rest.

How long do I beat it before its ready?

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT CHRISTMAS BUT AREN'T
Did you get any under the tree?
I think your balls are hanging too low.
Check out Rudolph’s Honker!
Santa’s sack is really bulging.
Lift up the skirt so I can get a clean underneath.
Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
I love licking the end till it’s really sharp and pointy.
From here you can’t tell if they’re artificial or real.
Can I interest you in some dark meat?
To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THE OFFICE BUT AREN'T

I need to whip it out by 5.

Mind if I use your laptop?

Just stick it in my box.

If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!

I want it on my desk, NOW!!!

Hmmmmmm... I think it's out of fluid!

My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.

It's an entry-level position.

When do you think you'll be getting off today?

It's not fair... I do all the work while he just sits there!

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN LAW BUT AREN'T

Have you looked through her briefs?

He is one hard judge!

Counselor, let's do it in chambers.

Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.

Is it a penal offense?

Better leave the handcuffs on.

For $200 an hour, she better be good!

Can you get him to drop his suit?

The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

Think you can get me off?  

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T
Nuts! ...my shaft is bent.
After 18 holes I can barely walk.
You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
Look at the size of his putter.
Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
Mind if I join your threesome?
Stand with your back turned and drop it.
My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
Hold up...I need to wash my balls first!

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY FROM BILL CLINTON BUT AREN'T
Is it time for my oral briefing? 
I need to find another girl willing to work under me. 
Young lady how'd you like to personally work on my staff. 
Come to the Capitol, I'll show you the executive branch! 
I'll conduct my own White House probe! 
We met a few times but we never came together. 
The whole thing is pretty hard to swallow! 
If you're going to do the job, I don't want lip service! 
I'm not worried, I'm used to taking a big licking. 
I don't care what anyone says.. I'm going to stick it out for as long as I can! 

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN CLIMBING BUT AREN'T
I'll need plenty of protection for this one.
Want to use my rope or yours?
Go ahead and tie in while I get my protection out.
I hate it when my protection fails!
That crack is big enough for your whole fist.
I'm getting tired of hanging here, but I want to try it one more time.
Better take a good selection of nuts.
I wish I hadn't lost that piece of protection in the crack.
Make sure you anchor in; I'm a lot heavier than you.
Wow, what a great crack!

Wow, Nice Rack!
Can you give me a belay?
Can I see your balls.
Did you see the way she fingered that crack.
I need to clean my balls.
Said to a girl "hey, you got white stuff all over your face".
What a greasy crack.
Help me get tied in.
You'll like this harness.
My fist just wouldn't fit, so I went to a hand jam.
You'll need some of my nuts for that crack.
Finger the crack and then reach for the knob.
If you can get your legs up a bit and a bit further apart...

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT PAINTBALL BUT AREN'T
Plugs in, masks off! 
I have all my parts for my cocker, I just need a 3-way. 
Hey, I need more balls! 
That's way too fast! You need to slow it down. 
As soon as you guys are ready, we'll go again. 
No wonder it's not shooting straight.. My balls are misshapen! 
My equipment is so old, it's unreliable. 
Oooh, his is bigger than mine! 
Get on top of them! 
Push! Push! 
I'll take the front! You come up the rear! 
I'm covered in white goo!

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT FOOTBALL BUT AREN'T
It was tight but Elway managed to pull it out!
He put it right through the uprights!
Pretty good hang time for a rookie.
He was able to penetrate right up the middle.
The ref blew it dead.
It's up.... and it's good!